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Monday, August 25, 2014

Life as a Teenage Vampire by Amy Mah (Vampire): vampires THE FANGS

Life as a Teenage Vampire by Amy Mah (Vampire): vampires THE FANGS:





CLICK HERE For full details



 http://www.fangsrule.com/drinkblood.htm 





 Vampire fangs, biting and blood drinking by Amy Mah Teenage...

vampires THE FANGS

CLICK HERE For full details 



Vampire fangs, biting and blood drinking by Amy Mah Teenage Vampire

No. 1 in understanding vampires THE FANGS


Being a blood sucking denizen of the night is not always that easy, like how the heck do you obtain your midnightsnack.

So let’s look at some of the old ideas, yes this idea is reported in some books by authors that could look to read a few medical books first

1.    Sucking blood through the skin or pores of the victim er? Like how does that work? Now I am no doctor but you must need lungs like a hydraulic pump to make that sort of trick work.

The nearest thing I have tried to this is cupping which is painful and if anyone says it does not is lying!


This is what you look like after a nice calming Cupping session or rather in my case screams of pain followed by get those fringing things off me, before I bite you!!!!!




Yes you may go nice and red but leaking blood?  

Sucking blood through pores in the skin is like mega hard work and for a blood sucker they would die of starvation from the energy expended to rip flesh off by suction


The skin is pulled up and is red but no blood, so sucking through the skin is not something I would try. 


2.    Next is biting with normal teeth …………. Right ok, this sounds possible ………. Ok if you are 3 years old then maybe but as a way to drink blood? Are you kidding?

Lots of talk of this in the early vampire myth but come on normal teeth?

This is a dark lord of the night we are talking about not some flea-bitten werewolf or moronic zombie!

For Liliths sake use a frigging knife if all you own is a set of burger choppers. …….. Like get real what a dumb way of getting a drink.

Biting into raw flesh with normal teeth causes more problems if all you want is to drink blood ..................

If you only have normal teeth use Tools!!:

Humans have used tools for yonks

Doctoral student Kyle Brown, who led the research at the University of Cape Town in South Africa, said: ''Our illumination of the heat treatment process shows that these early modern humans commanded fire in a nuanced and sophisticated manner.

''We show that early modern humans at 72,000 years ago, and perhaps as early as 164,000 years ago in coastal South Africa, were using carefully controlled hearths in a complex process to heat stone and change its properties, the process known as heat treatment.''

Previously, the first use of heat treatment was thought to have been in Europe 25,000 years ago. The technique was not believed to have been invented until long after the ancestors of modern humans had left Africa and settled in Europe and Asia.


If you want to use your mouth then grow some fangs!

3.    FANGS ……………… to be a vampire you have to own teeth that are sharp and can puncher the skin and not remove it by the mouth full.

Now this is what makes getting a refreshing drink both easy and fun.

Types of fang:




There is first what I would call the Hollywood fang, think of hammer house of horror Dracula, two very sharp canine teeth which can only be seen when the lips are pulled up.


These are normally the correct type of fang for the undead vampire and are full explained in my Girls guide to being a vampire. as a paperback and kindle










As long as you do not smile or yawn they can be hidden from sight.


The draw back with these are they are mega sharp so you need to be a fast healer just to heal the damage done to the mouth when talking.

Tall dark silent vampires are the ones that know it hurts to talk as the fangs cut into the lips.

Look even my turned vamps are smart enough to wear plastic caps over the fangs.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Keep the little plastic caps on until you wish to use them or as above you will bite your lips

Plastic Caps to protect the point

This keeps them nice and clean and sharp and can come in clear plastic or dayglow if you wish to make a fashion statement.  

Sometimes you will see a pic of a poor vamp that has a mouth full of razor sharp fangs, now this chap or chap-ess can only drink blood or soup as such teeth make it impossible to chew!





Come on think about it …………… sigh……… look ask a dentist if you do not understand this.


Next we get to the extendable fang:  



This is done by yawning or by a tiger growl, yes yes I know its childish but it works and a lot better than hissing,  I never know how this happens and personally I put it down to shyness as I have placed a mirror in my mouth to what how it works and they refuse to descend when looking.    

Now these are the best sort to have and can give hours of innocent pleasure in cleaning and polishing them.

I use an Ivory polish on a battery tooth brush, it is only right that you should give your victim a nice clean bite so to leave the nice fashionable neck holes.

What people fail to know is this means all living vampires have to have a top over bite to their jaw, now you must know that!




It is a good way to check if someone is a vampire, straight teeth with no overbite means not a vampire as if there were then the extending fangs would mean they could not close their mouths let alone bite anything thicker than a piece of paper.

Come on think about it ……………. 



Unless you have an over bite you will not be able to use your fangs, if you have a under bite then with fangs you will look like a wild pig! there are billions of people that could never be turned into a vampire due to racial characteristics on jaw alignment.


We are talking about vampires and not snakes ……lol



Good for biting but not for chewing and even talking is not easy

As for the drinking of blood this can be done in several ways.

The Undead turned vampire with the cute Hollywood fangs makes 2 puncture holes and get squirted in the eyes until they remember to place lips around the holes ………….. not all vamps are that bright.

Personally being a Living vampire I have the benefit of not being human to start with so my body works slightly different to a humans.

The fangs are very strong and hollow and as soon as they penetrate the neck blood is forced through the fangs by the beating of the victims heart.



You now know why we don’t like dead meat.

Drinking from a living human is better as it is less work and the blood has a fresher taste.

Yes we can also drink it normally and get real messy doing it unless you can carry a nice large bear tankard with you.

Some of my friends take it with coffee but as for me I find mixing it with chocolate syrup is ho so yummy ……..    

    


I hope this has been helpful and give you something to think about when you see a pic of some vampire showing permanent massive fixed fangs without out pointing out that having them means not only can they not chew but nor speak! 

To understand more about the problems in being a vampire google me:  Amy Mah Vampire or buy one of my vampire books  
       



Special offer price on VAMPIRE book

Special offer price on VAMPIRE by amy Mah on Kindle



VAMPIRE




Amazon UK

Amazon World


This very funny vampire novel is very different from your normal vampire book and not just because it is bursting with full colour art fitted in with the text showing the life of a young vampire forced to walk about in a transparent nightdress all day without underwear because that is what female vampires are supposed to do! 

Unlike the undead sex mad vampire maids, Amy was a living vampire and the main difference apart from having better teeth and a pulse, meant she felt and suffered the cold invasive winds blowing along the corridors, most female vampire called them male winds due to the way they were always trying to rip the nightdresses off them. 


From fighting in skin tight painted on body suits to learning to hang upside down from a ceiling in a nightdress without showing the world what you had for lunch, was just the start of her vampire training program. 


And yes it's normal for a girl to dream about Guys, even if the girl happens to be a blood sucking denizen of the night - - - - It’s just that this denizen wishes the dreams could involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on the first date. 


(Amy the vampire:…… 

“The massacre on 22nd and 3rd was greatly exaggerated by the human newspapers and not altogether my fault. It was my very first hunting trip, and a girl should not be judged by her first bite night. And no one ever talks about me saving the life of that cat. Besides, most of them kind of killed themselves without any help from me.”……………. 

“And before tonight it was only one male that I killed by ripping his throat out with my teeth.”…………. 

“And no, I did not then eat him. I don’t normally eat vampires. I think I just chewed and swallowed what I had in my mouth after I bit him. That was all, and it was not that he even tasted that good. Besides, it was only three or four mouthfuls before he threw me off.”) 



************** 

Books With Teeth Reviews 

Vampire: By Amy Mah offers exactly what I was looking for in a Vampire novel. She creates a vampire society that lives just out of sight of humans but close enough to get a
midnight snack...or take out if they feel like staying home! The story takes place around the life of Amy Mah a typical teenage girl in every way except for instead of painting her nails and worrying about shoes she polishes her Fangs and sharpens her claws both hand and foot! 

That of course does not sound typical at all but for Amy it is. Our teenage Vampire soon finds herself swept up in a world of social intrigue and ancient hierarchy as she enters the hidden world of the Vampires. Adopted by her ""Uncle"" and ""Aunt"" Pinkbat, Amelia becomes one of the clan and quickly finds she needs to grow up fast and catch up on the rules of being a Vampire if she is to survive long in a cut throat society filled with political feuds and clan territorial disputes. Being a Vampire is not as Romantic as
Hollywood makes it out to be! 

Amy has a writing style that is refreshing and well thought out. She handles the romance tastefully and you can tell the character is an extension of the author herself. The illustrated version is a real treat because you get to see, obviously, illustrations of the characters done by the talented Heby Sim. This adds a significant value to the book. I suggest that everyone read this book. Give it a try because there will be more coming from this EXTREMELY talented author. 


CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOK VIDEO !!! 

………….. 
http://youtu.be/ZiAPGb2PPnw



Monday, August 18, 2014

DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! if you are religious

How Fatima Started Islam: 

Mohammad's Daughter Tells It All


Book Feature


I could be the only person in the world do a feature on this book!

My Eyes: Lyrics (Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog)

Why have this song here ...er I like it 


I may even be the last one able to buy it!

It has been out a few years but I only found out about it when people started to try and Ban it!

The simple fact is if you try and ban a book then a lot more people with go and buy it, apart from just me, it has received 100s of bad reviews from people that say they have not even read it and warn people of how bad it is written etc.


Now it could change but I see Amazon is selling this as a pair with:

No Easy Day: The Autobiography of a Navy Seal: The Firsthand Account of the Mission That Killed Osama Bin Laden



Muslim


Ok lets start off ….If you are a Muslim or follow Islam in any way DO NOT READ THIS BOOK I repeat don't read this book …….you will not like it and it will upset you ………don’t buy it ….don't read it …. And don’t even think about it.




Judaism


Now for followers of Judaism, well you may like it as it puts Jews in a very good historic light.




Christian


Well the Bible gets a little mention but from this book it only sounds a minor sect, you can read it as just a funny book poking fun at the Arabs




Old Gods


Nothing much is said about them, which is a pity as Mecca would have had lots at that time.




Is it badly written? ……………… No


Is it funny? …………….. Yes


Is it designed to piss Muslims off ? ………. Yes


Is it selling well due to all the hate reviews? …… Yes


Looking at the Amazon sales it is doing far better than any of my books have ever done………
……sob ……………
…… yes banning a book will make it a best seller ………. Sigh ……….


Should you read it ? ………. Well that s up to you ………………….




The Story:
From the book advert and not my words!


A book like no other on this earth. Not a few cartoons or an infantile movie trailer but 234 page novel which insults Islam like no other. A parody of the always drunk proprietor of "Mohammad's Saloon & Brothel" with his completely ridiculous life exposed.


This moronic child molestating coward and fool who bumps his way through life oblivious to his manipulation as the figurehead of another new religion.


Learn about his adopted son and heir Ali, the biggest swish ever to sashay across Arabia while sadistically running Mecca's largest boy's brothel.


Only $9.99 to laugh at, mock, and ridicule those fanatics who do not enjoy being ridiculed. A well written and extremely funny parody at Amazon.com.


link to Amazon.com

https://www.amazon.com/How-Fatima-Started-Islam-Mohammads/dp/0578032902/ref


Observe the never sober Mohammad having sex with camels, pre-adolescent girls and boys, the mutilations, murders, terrorism, sneak attacks, back stabbings and mental illnesses. Absolutely no other novel is similar. Stick up for America by sticking it to Radical Islam.


Also: There is a subtle effort to dissuade Americans from buying or reading this parody. The Mullahs of Radical Islam HATE the fact that we in the West can still purchase this book. They are pressuring and threatening Amazon to stop offering the novel for sale.


They demand a world wide ban with criminal penalties under Sharia Law. Out of 6,000,000 Amazon books "How Fatima Started Islam" has the second lowest review rating, why, because Amazon has been flooded with well over 100 negative reviews with the lowest possible rating, reviewers who openly state that they would never ever buy or read a book insulting The Prophet, yet they take the time to tell you not to read it. The second lowest rating is a badge of honor, it shows how much the Ayatollahs of BAGHDAD and DAMASCUS and the murderous terrorist who killed our ambassador and burned our embassy in BENGHAZI do not want you to buy HFSI. Do not let these radical tin pot madmen, who think they rule the world and everyone in it, dictate to you what you may or may not read; purchase this important, well written, and extremely funny book.


Reviews


Amazons anti Islam book to create tension and hatredLONDON: The US Publishing organisation Amazon has published and marketed a very humiliating and disgraceful book 'How Fatima started Islam' that obviously will create tension in the world. The ridiculous book carries hatred and neferious propaganda against Islam, last Prophet PBUH and his beloved daughter. The title cover of this book is a picture of a model of a model wearing scarf. A detailed report on the prescribed book and anti Islam activities will be published next edition. This is a message to the whole ummah wake up and defend our Prophet PBUH and his daughter.


I haven't read the book: I've only been spammed about it.

65 reviewers made a similar statement ........er perhaps you should read it before doing a review.

Besides being called satirical which it is not, it is actually just a conglomeration of insults, and actually flat out untruths. This book was hard to read due to the authors grammatically challenged style of writing. I found his arguments self serving in many ways, it is obvious he has an axe to grind, and is very anti-Islam. This author lambastes the reader with simply false claims and statements, that have no shred of backing. His citations are simply false, and misleading, and I found the book just depressing to read. I think this author has some real issues besides the lack of a basic spell checker.


Does anyone really think that any worthwhile book should be advertised the same way penis enlargement pills are?


Satire? To call this 'humor' is offensive to anyone with a brain. Disguised hate, tasteless offense and a whole lot of ignorance. Who would cheer on such a book about Christianity?


I certainly won't be reading this obnoxious, offensive book, which has obviously been 'written' (I used the word advisedly) to provoke a reaction. What did entertain me, however, was the 'look inside' feature, where you can admire the truly APPALLING writing style. I mean, why bother with correct punctuation, sentence construction or syntax? Why bother with good research, or a balanced view? This book will injure your brain on so many levels.

****************

It is a book designed to be hated by millions, but if you are not religious and enjoy a funny poke at Islam then perhaps this is the book for you.

Did have some great hate mail on Youtube but alas all removed inc the ones saying what they planned to do to the author

Thursday, July 31, 2014

VAMPIRE INSPIRED FASHION: CAREFUL, I BITE!




VAMPIRE INSPIRED

 FASHION: 

CAREFUL, I BITE!


We don’t get why zombies are more populare than vampires: the latter are handsome, smart, charming, they can hypnotize you and being bite it’s not that bad. Try to be bit by a zombie! Vampire fashion has always been a source of inspiration for many alternative clothing styles: gothic is the main one (without any doubt!) but everyone can get inspired by vampires, not only goths. Bring mystery, allure, elegance and a bit of brocade into your life and your self-esteem (and boyfriend/girlfriend) will thank you for that!
“I Don’t sparkle ……..I Bite !!!”
Amy Mah - Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire






http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/vampire-inspired-fashion/

Vampire Inspired Fashion

Vampires are not always that gothic (they’re not always like Lestat from Interview with a Vampire) they can also be trendy and sparling like the infamous Edward (Twilight anyone?). We do prefer gothic vampires of course, because we love the subtle sensuality of the typical Ann Rice vampire: that look will never go out of style! Bring some black, red and purple int your wardrobe! (Oh, you silly mortal!)
Vampire Inspied Fashion Deep Red DressVampire Inspied Fashion JewelryVampire Inspied Fashion Purple Corset 

Fangs

We couldn’t get more serious than that. Fangs are a serious matter.
Vampire Inspired Fashion Vampire Inspired Fashion Vampire Inspired Fashion Panties and Bra
Are you mesmerized by vampires allure? Do you get inspired by vampire fashion? Tell us in the comments below!  
Featured image credits: 1

To understand more about the problems in being a vampire google me:  Amy Mah Vampire or buy one of my vampire books         

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vampire-Amy-Mah-ebook/dp/B00K1ZFAZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406631985&sr=8-1&keywords=amy+mah




Special offer price on VAMPIRE book

Special offer price on VAMPIRE by amy Mah on Kindle



VAMPIRE




Amazon UK

Amazon World





This very funny vampire novel is very different from your normal vampire book and not just because it is bursting with full colour art fitted in with the text showing the life of a young vampire forced to walk about in a transparent nightdress all day without underwear because that is what female vampires are supposed to do! 

Unlike the undead sex mad vampire maids, Amy was a living vampire and the main difference apart from having better teeth and a pulse, meant she felt and suffered the cold invasive winds blowing along the corridors, most female vampire called them male winds due to the way they were always trying to rip the nightdresses off them. 

From fighting in skin tight painted on body suits to learning to hang upside down from a ceiling in a nightdress without showing the world what you had for lunch, was just the start of her vampire training program. 

And yes it's normal for a girl to dream about Guys, even if the girl happens to be a blood sucking denizen of the night - - - - It’s just that this denizen wishes the dreams could involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on the first date. 

(Amy the vampire:…… 
“The massacre on 22nd and 3rd was greatly exaggerated by the human newspapers and not altogether my fault. It was my very first hunting trip, and a girl should not be judged by her first bite night. And no one ever talks about me saving the life of that cat. Besides, most of them kind of killed themselves without any help from me.”……………. 

“And before tonight it was only one male that I killed by ripping his throat out with my teeth.”…………. 
“And no, I did not then eat him. I don’t normally eat vampires. I think I just chewed and swallowed what I had in my mouth after I bit him. That was all, and it was not that he even tasted that good. Besides, it was only three or four mouthfuls before he threw me off.”) 




************** 
Books With Teeth Reviews 

Vampire: By Amy Mah offers exactly what I was looking for in a Vampire novel. She creates a vampire society that lives just out of sight of humans but close enough to get a midnight snack...or take out if they feel like staying home! The story takes place around the life of Amy Mah a typical teenage girl in every way except for instead of painting her nails and worrying about shoes she polishes her Fangs and sharpens her claws both hand and foot! 

That of course does not sound typical at all but for Amy it is. Our teenage Vampire soon finds herself swept up in a world of social intrigue and ancient hierarchy as she enters the hidden world of the Vampires. Adopted by her ""Uncle"" and ""Aunt"" Pinkbat, Amelia becomes one of the clan and quickly finds she needs to grow up fast and catch up on the rules of being a Vampire if she is to survive long in a cut throat society filled with political feuds and clan territorial disputes. Being a Vampire is not as Romantic as Hollywood makes it out to be! 

Amy has a writing style that is refreshing and well thought out. She handles the romance tastefully and you can tell the character is an extension of the author herself. The illustrated version is a real treat because you get to see, obviously, illustrations of the characters done by the talented Heby Sim. This adds a significant value to the book. I suggest that everyone read this book. Give it a try because there will be more coming from this EXTREMELY talented author. 

CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOK VIDEO !!! 
………….. 
http://youtu.be/ZiAPGb2PPnw

    Tuesday, July 29, 2014

    Blood drinking by Amy Mah Teenage Vampire

    Vampire fangs, biting and blood drinking by Amy Mah Teenage Vampire

    No. 1 in understanding vampires THE FANGS




    Being a blood sucking denizen of the night is not always that easy, like how the heck do you obtain your midnight snack.

    So let’s look at some of the old ideas, yes this idea is reported in some books by authors that could look to read a few medical books first

    1.    Sucking blood through the skin or pores of the victim er? Like how does that work? Now I am no doctor but you must need lungs like a hydraulic pump to make that sort of trick work.

    The nearest thing I have tried to this is cupping which is painful and if anyone says it does not is lying!

    This is what you look like after a nice calming Cupping session or rather in my case screams of pain followed by get those fringing things off me, before I bite you!!!!!



    Yes you may go nice and red but leaking blood?  

    Sucking blood through pores in the skin is like mega hard work and for a blood sucker they would die of starvation from the energy expended to rip flesh off by suction


    The skin is pulled up and is red but no blood, so sucking through the skin is not something I would try. 


    2.    Next is biting with normal teeth …………. Right ok, this sounds possible ………. Ok if you are 3 years old then maybe but as a way to drink blood? Are you kidding?

    Lots of talk of this in the early vampire myth but come on normal teeth?

    This is a dark lord of the night we are talking about not some flea-bitten werewolf or moronic zombie!

    For Liliths sake use a frigging knife if all you own is a set of burger choppers. …….. Like get real what a dumb way of getting a drink.

    Biting into raw flesh with normal teeth causes more problems if all you want is to drink blood ..................

    If you only have normal teeth use Tools!!:

    Humans have used tools for yonks

    Doctoral student Kyle Brown, who led the research at the University of Cape Town in South Africa, said: ''Our illumination of the heat treatment process shows that these early modern humans commanded fire in a nuanced and sophisticated manner.

    ''We show that early modern humans at 72,000 years ago, and perhaps as early as 164,000 years ago in coastal South Africa, were using carefully controlled hearths in a complex process to heat stone and change its properties, the process known as heat treatment.''

    Previously, the first use of heat treatment was thought to have been in Europe 25,000 years ago. The technique was not believed to have been invented until long after the ancestors of modern humans had left Africa and settled in Europe and Asia.

    Scientists had been puzzled by the fine-grained and often reddish coloured silicate blades and axes excavated from prehistoric sites at Pinnacle Point on the South African coast.

    If you want to use your mouth then grow some fangs!

    3.    FANGS ……………… to be a vampire you have to own teeth that are sharp and can puncher the skin and not remove it by the mouth full.

    Now this is what makes getting a refreshing drink both easy and fun.

    Types of fang:



    There is first what I would call the Hollywood fang, think of hammer house of horror Dracula, two very sharp canine teeth which can only be seen when the lips are pulled up.



    These are normally the correct type of fang for the undead vampire and are full explained in my Girls guide to being a vampire. as a paperback and kindle












    As long as you do not smile or yawn they can be hidden from sight.



    The draw back with these are they are mega sharp so you need to be a fast healer just to heal the damage done to the mouth when talking.

    Tall dark silent vampires are the ones that know it hurts to talk as the fangs cut into the lips.

    Look even my turned vamps are smart enough to wear plastic caps over the fangs.



    Keep the little plastic caps on until you wish to use them or as above you will bite your lips

    Plastic Caps to protect the point

    This keeps them nice and clean and sharp and can come in clear plastic or dayglow if you wish to make a fashion statement.  

    Sometimes you will see a pic of a poor vamp that has a mouth full of razor sharp fangs, now this chap or chap-ess can only drink blood or soup as such teeth make it impossible to chew!




    Come on think about it …………… sigh……… look ask a dentist if you do not understand this.

    Next we get to the extendable fang: 




    This is done by yawning or by a tiger growl, yes yes I know its childish but it works and a lot better than hissing,  I never know how this happens and personally I put it down to shyness as I have placed a mirror in my mouth to what how it works and they refuse to descend when looking.    

    Now these are the best sort to have and can give hours of innocent pleasure in cleaning and polishing them.

    I use an Ivory polish on a battery tooth brush, it is only right that you should give your victim a nice clean bite so to leave the nice fashionable neck holes.

    What people fail to know is this means all living vampires have to have a top over bite to their jaw, now you must know that!




    It is a good way to check if someone is a vampire, straight teeth with no overbite means not a vampire as if there were then the extending fangs would mean they could not close their mouths let alone bite anything thicker than a piece of paper.

    Come on think about it ……………. 


    Unless you have an over bite you will not be able to use your fangs, if you have a under bite then with fangs you will look like a wild pig! there are billions of people that could never be turned into a vampire due to racial characteristics on jaw alignment.


    We are talking about vampires and not snakes ……lol


    Good for biting but not for chewing and even talking is not easy

    As for the drinking of blood this can be done in several ways.

    The Undead turned vampire with the cute Hollywood fangs makes 2 puncture holes and get squirted in the eyes until they remember to place lips around the holes ………….. not all vamps are that bright.

    Personally being a Living vampire I have the benefit of not being human to start with so my body works slightly different to a humans.

    The fangs are very strong and hollow and as soon as they penetrate the neck blood is forced through the fangs by the beating of the victims heart.



    You now know why we don’t like dead meat.

    Drinking from a living human is better as it is less work and the blood has a fresher taste.

    Yes we can also drink it normally and get real messy doing it unless you can carry a nice large bear tankard with you.

    Some of my friends take it with coffee but as for me I find mixing it with chocolate syrup is ho so yummy ……..    

        


    I hope this has been helpful and give you something to think about when you see a pic of some vampire showing permanent massive fixed fangs without out pointing out that having them means not only can they not chew but nor speak! 

    To understand more about the problems in being a vampire google me:  Amy Mah Vampire or buy one of my vampire books         

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vampire-Amy-Mah-ebook/dp/B00K1ZFAZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406631985&sr=8-1&keywords=amy+mah




    Special offer price on VAMPIRE book

    Special offer price on VAMPIRE by amy Mah on Kindle



    VAMPIRE




    Amazon UK

    Amazon World





    This very funny vampire novel is very different from your normal vampire book and not just because it is bursting with full colour art fitted in with the text showing the life of a young vampire forced to walk about in a transparent nightdress all day without underwear because that is what female vampires are supposed to do! 

    Unlike the undead sex mad vampire maids, Amy was a living vampire and the main difference apart from having better teeth and a pulse, meant she felt and suffered the cold invasive winds blowing along the corridors, most female vampire called them male winds due to the way they were always trying to rip the nightdresses off them. 

    From fighting in skin tight painted on body suits to learning to hang upside down from a ceiling in a nightdress without showing the world what you had for lunch, was just the start of her vampire training program. 

    And yes it's normal for a girl to dream about Guys, even if the girl happens to be a blood sucking denizen of the night - - - - It’s just that this denizen wishes the dreams could involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on the first date. 

    (Amy the vampire:…… 
    “The massacre on 22nd and 3rd was greatly exaggerated by the human newspapers and not altogether my fault. It was my very first hunting trip, and a girl should not be judged by her first bite night. And no one ever talks about me saving the life of that cat. Besides, most of them kind of killed themselves without any help from me.”……………. 

    “And before tonight it was only one male that I killed by ripping his throat out with my teeth.”…………. 
    “And no, I did not then eat him. I don’t normally eat vampires. I think I just chewed and swallowed what I had in my mouth after I bit him. That was all, and it was not that he even tasted that good. Besides, it was only three or four mouthfuls before he threw me off.”) 




    ************** 
    Books With Teeth Reviews 

    Vampire: By Amy Mah offers exactly what I was looking for in a Vampire novel. She creates a vampire society that lives just out of sight of humans but close enough to get a midnight snack...or take out if they feel like staying home! The story takes place around the life of Amy Mah a typical teenage girl in every way except for instead of painting her nails and worrying about shoes she polishes her Fangs and sharpens her claws both hand and foot! 

    That of course does not sound typical at all but for Amy it is. Our teenage Vampire soon finds herself swept up in a world of social intrigue and ancient hierarchy as she enters the hidden world of the Vampires. Adopted by her ""Uncle"" and ""Aunt"" Pinkbat, Amelia becomes one of the clan and quickly finds she needs to grow up fast and catch up on the rules of being a Vampire if she is to survive long in a cut throat society filled with political feuds and clan territorial disputes. Being a Vampire is not as Romantic as Hollywood makes it out to be! 

    Amy has a writing style that is refreshing and well thought out. She handles the romance tastefully and you can tell the character is an extension of the author herself. The illustrated version is a real treat because you get to see, obviously, illustrations of the characters done by the talented Heby Sim. This adds a significant value to the book. I suggest that everyone read this book. Give it a try because there will be more coming from this EXTREMELY talented author. 

    CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOK VIDEO !!! 
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    http://youtu.be/ZiAPGb2PPnw